Princess Lewdna's Fanfic TRANSLATED!
by EliqueStudios
Summary: After seeing a trollfic created by a member of the AussieBronies group on Steam, I decided to translate it into proper English so that it could be shared with a wider audience. In the fic, the pony gang must save the Earth!


_A/N: You may be wondering: "AHAHAHAHA! How HIGH do you even have to be to waste your time translating a trollfic?", AND I KNOW the whole point of a trollfic is so that people who understand can "LOL" at it, but I wanted to post this because I didn't write the original trollfic, and I wanted to share this. YOU CAN VIEW THE ORIGINAL (Which was created by SteamCommunityID: itflickersitflickers) RIGHT OVER HERE: Pastebin[dot]com[slash]aber1bRZ - I SUGGEST YOU READ IT, TO GET THE CONTEXT FOR THIS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT._

**Chapter One - Strange Candy**

It was a cold day in the land of Equestria, and the Pony Gang were sitting on the bench, outside of the store that was selling candy to the young ponies, that was delicious, and everyone thought it was a good idea, even though the police were looking for missing babies that were taken inside the store due to candy violations.

Rainbow Dash was dashing around the ponies, when Applejack said:  
>"Y'all, please kindly stop." And Rainbow did not stop, because Rainbow wanted to dash fast. So Fluttershy said:<br>"Please STOP, Rainbow!" And Rainbow stopped.

The question was actually:  
>"Where did the ponies go, after they were taken by the strange colt?"<p>

And the ponies were wondering:  
>"Who DID take those ponies? Was he strange-lookin'?" And the ponies said:<br>"YES, he was!" said Twilight.

Twilight said to the Gang:  
>"Why don't we try a spell to find the ponies?" And the Gang said:<br>"Y'all, please do."

So, Twilight did it, and the spell was bright and magical, but something went wrong and the spell backshot and Twilight went missing! Too bad that the other ponies had no idea what was going on.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three - Twilight Mishap<strong>

Twilight landed in a place like she had never seen before, and Twilight thought that she was just dreaming, but Twilight was not, and Twilight was actually on the moon with Luna, who was also on the moon because this happened before the gala, and Pinkie Pie was there... but quiet for some reason.

Twilight finished talking with Luna and went over to Pinki Pie, but it turned out it was not Pinkie Pie, but actually Spitfire, who flew to far to the sun and was trapped on the moon.

Spitfire was sad, because Rainbow Dash was on Earth, and Spitfire was on the moon, which Luna was happy about, because Luna hardly had parties on the moon, which was a relief for Luna, because she liked parties, but never had them, because she had no friends, because Luna is alone on the moon and nopony can make friends on the moon because all the ponies are on the ground, not the moon, because the moon is in space... and its impossible to get to the moon from Earth.

So, they asked Spitfire how she got there, and she said: "I flew." and they accepted this and went along with business.

Twilight found out that she was NOT actually Twilight, but Rainbow Dash, and Spitfire was happy, because she had friend now, because somehow Rainbow Dash flew up too.

Rarity then said to Applejack:  
>"These jams would go lovely with your apples."<p>

Luna's horn lit up and the moon started to move towards the planet Earth, and Rainbow Dash was like:  
>"Where am I? I don't know." So Spitfire said:<br>"You're on the moon, silly!"

OK, so Luna was making the moon fly out of its orbit, and Dash and Spitfire were having passionfruit love, but Luna wanted to MERGE THE EARTH WITH THE MOON IN A GREAT BALL OF FIERY TORMENT THAT THE LAND OF EQUESTRIA WOULD FEAR FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS TO COME, which is a bad thing in Bonbon's opinion.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four - Ancient Fears<strong>

The rumours were true. The moon was coming down to Equestria and nothing could stop it, not even Rainbow and Spitfire's hot passionfruit sex could. (Speaking of which, how do passionfruits mate? I don't know, but I know a scientist, so i'll ask them later... now, back to the story.)

[Jerry] Kramer, I am home now.  
>*Kramer turns to Jerry*<br>[Kramer] Jerry, do you have any cereal?  
>*Jerry then turns to Kramer*<br>Yes, I have cereals.  
>[Kramer] Well, I'm having them!<br>[Jerry] No problem!  
>*The buzzer buzzes and Jerry walks towards it*<br>[Jerry] Who is it?  
>[Buzzer] Who!<br>[Jerry] Who?  
>[Buzzer] Who!<br>[Jerry] Is this Elaine?  
>[Buzzer] I'm an Owl. LOL.<br>[Jerry] Come on up, George.  
>*Buzz*<br>*Jerry turns around and finds Kramer eating his lighter-flood collection*  
>[Jerry] KRAMER, WHY ARE YOU EATING MY LIGHTER-FLOOD COLLECTION?<br>*Kramer ceases to exist*  
>*George enters*<br>[George] JERRY! I FOUND THIS! HERE! IT LOOKS GOOD ON ME, RIGHT? WILL IT GET ME ALL THE WOMEN? ...Where's Kramer?  
>[Kramer] Over here, eating his lighter-flood collection!<br>But George could not see him, because Kramer ceased to exist. And suddenly, Elaine shows up.  
>[Elaine] I think I am pregnant.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

Hello, my name is Nathan Yorke, I m 27 years old and on the run from the law, to know why is to know God.

It all started a month ago when my best friend Aaron Azza James showed me this certain show which is now automatically filtered into all connections and informs local authorities of my position.

I will try to tell you the entire story... but I m afraid the Salvation Army will catch on...

It tells of friendship and finding ones self in a humorous way, this offended people as no-one should take advice from a show when they can spend hundreds of dollars asking someone who does not care about it...

So then, I said:  
>"Oatmeal, you are so crazy!"<p>

Rainbow Dash needed to find what was wrong with Luna, but whenever she got close, a music barrier appeared which means Octavia was near, and she must BATTLE HER and Dash begun, but first, Dash must get weapons. So, she went to the armoury and found the weapon of the Lazer King and it worked! The Lazer King said:  
>"Take my gun and shoot Octavia to save the planet! But first, can you get my spacecat out of the lazer tree?" Rainbow Dash said:<br>"No!" and left his spacecat to die, and the Lazer King was sad.

Luna was happy because she would finally be back on the Earth and control the moon again, but Rarity was like:  
>"NO! DON'T DO IT!" and Luna was like:<br>"B-but... Why?" and Rarity said:  
>"IF YOU CRASH THE MOON INTO THE EARTH, THERE WILL BE NOBODY LEFT, LUNA!" and Luna was like:<br>"Oh no! I like the moon and I AM the moon and if there is no moon, I can't control the moon, which means... I TOOK MY JOB!"

But then, Twilight found the hole that was a hole, but not a hole, but instead went to a place were John Markovic was.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

_**TO BE CONTINUED?**_


End file.
